The other evening I was up chatting and webshopping with R´s brothers wife that is pregnant and due by the end of may. Exciting, of course and lots of fun so I ended up staying up longer than I should have and wrote this on my FB status "has been up waaay too late, babyshopping is too much fun :)" R´s sister has had problems with her pregnancies with lots of miscarriages and they have been checked and she got some sort of diagnos, something related to the blood and they are up to now without children. I dont remember the time perspective but a day or so later his sister had something like this on her FB status "even your own family sometimes hurt you". Of course I got concerned and wrote to her on skype to see if everything is ok and I got this reply.

"Hi, sorry for the comment that i wrote. Thanks God you have 2 lovely children and J is having one and for me none. Sometimes i am very depressed (not sometimes always) about the situation that i am in.Don't want to aruge with you but when i saw your comment I got more depressed. Sorry I know that you did't mean anything to hurt my feelings but for me it's an other dagger in my heart . I can't be happy each time someone tells me the she is having a baby. I can't be happy each time someone tells me its a girl or a boy. Once again sorry."

Seriously I think she overreacts, I can understand that its a tough time for her and that she wants to have a baby BUT that doesnt mean that I have to stop living MY life and enjoying my kids and their first cousin on the way. If I had tagged her in my fb status it would have been a whole different case, but to "accuse" me of hurting her just cause I said something that was babyrelated doesnt feel fair. She writes herself that she knows that I didnt mean to hurt her. Wouldnt it have been enough for her status to be something on the lines that life is touch sometimes or something like that and not that familymembers hurt you?

Discussed this with a friend on skype and her very wise words were these:

"of course its a crappy situation for her but you cant expect others to feel the same as you do. she could choose to stop living, but unfortunately she cant make the rest of the world feel her misery all the time. You ar always alone in your life crisis, that´s part of life. people die every day but the world doesnt stop anyway.

I think "all the time" are the keywords here. Of course we feel for them and think about their situation and even if we dont understand exactly how they feel we understand that its really hard for them when "everyone" have children or are expecting. For the same reason do we normally think carefully what words we use when they are around but I couldnt be expected to tip toe around them even when they are not in the same room just cause they have their troubles? I totally understand that its a sensitive subject but I think that if you cant handle ANYTHING babyrelated you have to cut yourself from society instead of thinking that everyone is out to get you with their every comment. What do you think?